Welcome to the Leaf
by Da God Cane
Summary: Jody and his friend Chris have fallen into a wormhole that has led them to the village of Konohagakure. Naturally they must find a way home, but it would seem that the Land Of Fire has other plans. Collab by authors byakuganwalker and RoxasRoxOutloud, R


A/N: Hello all, this is byakuganwalker and RoxasRoxOutloud on our first joint production, "Welcome to the Leaf" (like that Guns N' Roses song Welcome To the Jungle). If the summary didn't tell you, the authors will be starring in this fic, but before you turn away, this is not a "two-fans-show-up-know-all-jutsu-rise-to-the-top-bang-all-the-girls-and-stay-in-the-anime" type self insertion fic. No, we've got some substance in this story, comedy, action, and the sheer simplicity of random shit.

"Call it chopped meat, cause every word is choppy

My logic crunch all crows to death, Kobiyashi couldn't stop me

Gettin caught up in my world, Haagen-Dazs world

Backflip and then twirl, cave your whole world in"

-Ghostface Killah, (Visionz)

_Welcome To the Leaf _

"Chris, hand me the batteries."

Jody King was an African-American teen with access to engineering technology far beyond his comprehension. He stood at six feet, dark as the long dreadlocks that hung loosely around his face, who's premature facial hair gave him the appearance of what some claimed him to be twenty (much to his annoyance). He was actually fifteen, going on sixteen in July, (and damn proud of it), and currently moving around his basement blindly. The boy's large brown eyes searched through the dark of the room for the flashlight he kept on the table for whatever impractical purpose.

"Sure, just one problem Jody." said a second voice.

Jody's hand found the flashlight somehow, "What?"

"How the hell am I supposed to see you in the pitch black of the damn lab?"

That was Jody's friend and partner in this experiment that resulted in loss of power through half the city.

"Just follow my voice, genius." The sarcasm was rich in Jody's voice.

"Hey don't get snotty with me."

Chris stumbled over a box and reached out for something to stop his fall. His hands wrapped around a metallic object but it couldn't hold his weight and it snapped, sending him face first into the floor.

"What was that?" Jody said with annoyance out into the darkness.

"Umm, that depends, did it sound expensive?"

"It most likely was."

"Then it was nothing." Chris said as he picked himself up making sure his nose hadn't been jammed back into his skull.

"Here are your damn batteries." He said handing the African-American boy the two small cylinders.

Jody popped them in and turned on the flashlight causing his blonde friend to suddenly flash into existence before him.

"Holy shit!" He exclaimed with a look of mock horror at the other boy.

"What?!" Chris jumped at the sudden outburst from his friend.

"Why are you making that face?"

"What face?"

"Oh I forgot, you always look like that."

"I swear I'm going to dropkick you into next week."

Jody located the emergency power switch and yanked it down. In no time, the makeshift laboratory became fully visible under white fluorescent lights, and the two occupants of the room could finally see each other. After a few minutes of arguing they finally got back to what they had been doing, even though they had had no idea what they had been doing in the first place.

Though it was obvious that they were building something, what exactly it was, and the consequences of toying around with this equipment was unknown to them.

Before them sat a small square chrome pad in the center of the floor, surrounded by four tall hexagonal glass blue columns, which were wide enough for at least four people to stand in.

How they came to this juncture was a mystery to them, much more so was the effect of this so-called experiment.

The two continued to work and trade insults when after about ten minutes, Chris found a rather strange outlet at the base of the pad, and pulled from his pocket a small cartridge labeled "E.W.G. Experimental Wormhole Generator".

The cartridge was a dead in match for the outlet, just as Chris expected, but what he didn't expect was the cartridge to catch fire the second he turned his back.

"I told you, I TOLD you! Don't put that there, something is going to explode…or catch on fire…or explode!" Jody lamented, running a hand through his hair, frustrated.

"You said explode twice."

"THAT'S BECAUSE I KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN! It caught on fire too!"

Not about to let their hard work go to waste, Chris grabbed a fire extinguisher and immediately sprayed down the flame on the cartridge, and the fire quelled down...for all of two seconds.

The blonde flung the fire retardant device against the wall, "Dammit!" He turned his head just in time to see his friend dashing madly towards the rapidly growing inferno with a pillow.

"What the hell?"

Jody swung and swung again and again, and each time, the fire as though it knew it was beaten savagely by a kid in a lab coat, shrunk down more and more until it was gone.

Chris was left speechless, sorta.

"A FUCKING PILLOW?" he shouted.

Jody turned to him with a grin, "Yup yup, pillows always work the best on flames, duh. Now can we finish? I'd like get to the point of this story before the readers hit the back button if they haven't already."

"...alright, what were we doing?"

-- 2 Minutes Later --

After the unnecessary intermission and a clip of Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series, Jody and Chris stood before the pad which now was outlined with cobalt light on the center, and the columns turned a monolithic black color.

"Well that was fun." said Jody, pulling out a remote with a single dial on it.

"Fun for you, you're the one who got to use the damned laser." Chris crossed his arms and pouted, "Ok, so what do we got here?"

"Well, we got a controller, a giant glowing machine that says "Experimental Wormhole Generator", it looks to me like what we have here is something to occupy our time for the next few hours." Jody said.

He hit the button and then…Then…THEN!!

"…Nothing happened." Chris mumbled as they watched the big glowing device sitting there.

Jody hit the button again, "I don't understand, stuff like this is always supposed to work after the intermission!" he hit the button a third time.

After another 5 minutes of watching his friend smash the controller into his head to make it work, Chris finally decided he had had enough.

"Ok well thanks a bundle for this "amazing" day but I've got more fun things to do…like watching grass grow."

Jody kept hitting the button, refusing to let the machine win.

"Dude! Knock it off!" Chris yelled finally, swiping the controller away from him, "This thing isn't going to work if you keep hitting the button, its just a piece of JUNK!" the blonde kicked the E.W.G. machine and suddenly a blinding yellow flash burst forth from the front.

"HOLY PISS ON A WILLOW TREE!" He yelped as he jumped nearly 20 feet away.

The flash died down and the two boys looked at the machine which was now a dim shade of gold. The columns had risen up into the ceiling.

"What did you do?" Jody said angrily.

"Nothing! I didn't even kick it that hard!" Chris said in his defense.

"You broke it!" Jody yelled.

"I can't break what was already broken to begin with!"

"You trying to say something?"

"Yeah, I don't think some kid with the IQ of a mentally ill rodent should be messing with some big glowing thing that says "WORMHOLE" on it!" Chris fired back.

"Well maybe if his dipshit friend would help him nothing would have gone wrong in the first place!

The two tackled each other onto the ground and began rolling around the lab.

"You take back what you said about me being dumber than a retarded rodent!" Jody growled.

"NO! You take back what you said about me being a dipshit!"

They wrestled onto the square platform when suddenly; one of the hexagonal columns fell from the ceiling and trapped them inside.

"What the hell?!" they both yelled, they got up and started banging on the glass.

The golden glow that emanated from the platform swallowed Jody and Chris up in a spectacular display of electricity, lights, and special effects that have production budgets too big to mention in a fanfic.

-- After Sometime --

Voices floated through the air as the two boys slowly opened their eyes to see a single candlelight in front of them, reflected in the sword blade drawn across their throats. They found themselves restrained quite effectively, pinned to a wall by metal cuffs around to wrists and ankles.

"If you want to live, you best tell me who you are and what business you have showing up in Konoha."

A rough feminine voice spoke through the darkness, accompanied by the hissing of snakes.

"Jody," Chris said as he tried not to wet himself.

"Yeah?" his friend said back.

From the dim light of the burning candle, a woman emerged from the surrounding darkness. Her appearance went perfectly along with her voice, her face had a severe beauty about her and eyes were a light lavender color.

"Is this some old pissed girlfriend of yours-OOF!"

"I'm guessing that's a yes-OW!"

"Would you please stop hitting my smartmouth friend-Ouch! Godammit lady!

"Shut your mouths and tell me who you are, or I'll have to get blood all over my nice clean clothes." The woman said.

"Well, I'm Nunya, and he's Bidness." Jody said with defiance.

"Hmm, ok you wanna play around? Fine, I'll just have to beat it out of you!"


End file.
